mustard on the beat, internet bheef, and the vocal stylings of tom sandoval
It's my February Dilly Dalliances.
The first fresh breaths of spring are in the air. As I write this, it’s 68 degrees outside, and sometimes that’s all it takes to feel alive again! Even if it may only be a dastardly tease. But if the last month taught me one thing, it’s that I am ready for winter to be over.
For being the shortest month of the year, this February offered an actioned packed cultural calendar. It is, after all, the season of love. And in between reoccurring reminders that I’m about to be looking 28 right in the eye (trying to be cool, trying to be chill about it), I found myself fully enraptured by so many things.
Welcome back to another edition of Dilly Dalliances: a collection of musings, recommendations, and everything I’ve loved in the past month.
Genres are a funny little concept, aren’t they? The month was kicked off with the Grammy awards, where Beyoncé, the most nominated artist of the night and winningest performer in Grammy history, finally won Album of the Year along with Best Country Album. Wins that I’ve been happily defending with my full chest. What stuck with me? Benson Boone’s baby blue backflips, Charli XCX’s panty dropping closer, Kendrick Lamar sweeping the night in that Canadian tuxedo, and most of all Doechii’s speech for Best Rap Album win: “I wanna tell you, you can do it. Anything is possible,” she said through tears. “Don’t allow anybody to project any stereotypes on you that tell you that you can’t be here, that you’re too dark or that you’re not smart enough or that you’re too dramatic or you’re too loud. You are exactly who you need to be, to be right where you are and I’m a testimony.” If this is the power and energy you get from The Artist’s Way, then find me dusting off my workbook and picking up my morning pages.
It’s a cultural divide… This is bigger than the music. GNX has, hands down, been my most streamed album since it’s release last year, so believe and trust I was off book and on my feet for his half time performance at Super Bowl LIX. The entire stadium screaming “MustARRRDD” (amongst other things)? The visuals? The choreo? Serena Williams (a Drake ex) joining to crip walk on Aubrey Graham’s name? The theatrics were equal parts catty and calculated, as only Kendrick can do. SZA (another Drake ex) dazzled - “luther” and “All The Stars” never seize to give me full body chills. The performance had the most annoying people in your hometown writing armchair Facebook essays about how terrible it was and how they want “real music” (cough cough a white, country artist) on stage. And I hear the criticisms of it being slow or underwhelming and say, hey, Kung Fu Kenny just gave us something meaty, juicy, layered… You’re supposed to chew on it.
Whatchu know about a Dubai Chocolate Bar Latte? It’s the decadent dessert that’s had TikTok in a vice grip for some time now - a combination of nutty pistachio paste and crispy, shredded phyllo dough surrounded by velvety rich chocolate. Though I’ve not had the chance to try it myself, the flavor profile has always left me very intrigued. Then, as I was making my usual Starbucks order, inspiration struck. Hear me out. Matcha latte (venti, duh) + a couple pumps of pistachio sauce + chocolate hazelnut cream cold foam. Y’ALL! You gotta trust me on this one. This drink is heavenly. I’m sure it is just as delicious as a coffee latte as well. It’s been my caffeine hyper-fixation.
ON THE AUX: BLEED FT. OMAR APOLLO - MALCOLM TODD | NOKIA - DRAKE | OH BABY, DON’T YOU LOOSE YOUR LIP ON ME - JAMES TAYLOR | SPORTS CAR - TATE MCRAE | SALLY, WHEN THE WINE RUNS OUT - ROLE MODEL | CZ - MK.GEE | UNTITLED - THE CURE
SNL, You don’t look a day over 50. This past month saw the celebration of Saturday Night Live’s 50th anniversary. It was a three day extravaganza between the SNL Homecoming Concert at Radio City Music Hall, private dinner for fairy godfather/creator Lorne Michaels, and a 3 hour anniversary special. I don’t think an event can get more star-studded. And for those enraptured with the SNL lore (like myself), our plates were full with documentaries, greatest hits, and a bevy of specials.
Standouts from the weekend: Post Malone fronted Nirvana for “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, the apple of Lorne’s eye, Sabrina Carpenter did a beautiful duet of “Homeward Bound” with Paul Simon, Meryl Streep finally made her SNL debut (everyone say, “Thank you”, to her BF Martin Short), Eddie Murphy came to play, and we learned the genes in Domingo’s family are en fuego.
You Forrest Gump A LOT! Nothing has been more exhilarating than this U.S. season of The Traitors. I’m not going to spoil anything for you here, because I believe the show is a roller coaster that should be experience first hand, but the character dynamics are some of the best on television. It follows a cast reality personalities and competition legends - made up of mostly “Faithfuls” as they work together to weed out the “Traitors,” players selected by host Alan Cumming to “murder” the cast members one by one.
Survivor legends like Boston Rob Mariano and Carolyn Wiger are competing against Big Brother royalty Danielle Reyes and Britney Haynes and Drag Race’s season 8 winner Bob The Drag Queen, amongst others. There’s also my own personal Oracle of Delphi, Gabby Windey, who emerged straight from a slit in the back of Jennifer Coolidge (and Bachelor Nation, respect the balance).
Thanks to this season, I think I’ve fallen in love with Dylan Efron, younger brother of Zac. And then there’s Tom Sandoval - actor, recording artist, and general eccentric1 - the only man in that castle on the ultimate pursuit of the truth, be it through deduction, physical prowess, or his perfect, golden melodic pitch. If you’ve been holding off watching The Traitors, consider this your sign to start.
FEBRUARY FAVES: SALTAIR SANTAL BLOOM LIGHT NOURISHING HAIR OIL | CAN’T GET THIS BANANA CROISSANT FRENCH TOAST CASSEROLE OFF MY MIND |
Bama Barker vs. Bhad Bhabie. If you’ve been anywhere near the niche corners of internet in the final weeks of February, you’ve seen the headlines: Alabama Barker, daughter of Blink-182’s Travis Barker, and Bhad Bhabie, the former "cash me ousside" girl turned rapper, are beefing. And by beefing, I mean they've taken to social media like it's 2016 and there’s nothing else to do but start drama on Instagram Live.
The genesis of this feud reaches back to December of last year, but it hit a whole new level, when Bhad Bhabie dropped her second diss track “Ms. Whitman2” — and baby, the pen was hot and the ink was flowing. The track was in response to Alabama’s attempt at a diss track, “Cry Bhabie,” and at least she let her glam team take a lunch break while she was in the booth. The video? Pure chaos. Bhad Bhabie is literally twerking on a Travis Barker lookalike while throwing shots at Alabama, her famous dad, step-mom Kourtney Kardashian, hell, even Tyga and Soulja Boy caught strays. And I hate to say it, but when Bhad Bhabie’s flow is good, it’s good. “Gucci Flip Flops” has gone triple platinum in this house.
The whole thing escalated with other celebs jumping in— Romy Mars (Sofia Coppola’s daughter, in case you didn’t know), clad in Bama’s signature uniform of black satin pjs, took to TikTok to pose the question on everyone’s lips, “What the fuck is Alabama Barker, like, getting ready for? It’s like the Met Gala every single—twice a day, three times a day with this girl.” Icon. And where there’s a will, there’s a way for the Nazi formerly known as Kanye West to get involved. He posted a video publicly denying giving Bhad Bhabie a verse for her diss track (and claiming he had no clue he was clearing his sample to be used in the track). All of this over a man named Le Vaughn — Bhad Bhabie’s baby daddy, who cheating with Alabama apparently sparked the whole thing. Who needs reality TV when we have this?
And that’s all for this past month’s dilly dalliances! Lots of culture, a little drams, and some fun recs. Adore you all so, so much. Until we chat again, my friends!
xxx Autumn
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Fun fact: Tom is a St. Louis boy and I worked with a woman who went to high school with him (I saw photo evidence). She confirmed he has, in fact, always been like this.
As in Patricia Arquette’s character from the 1993 film, True Romance - Alabama Whitman - whom Travis Barker says his daughter is named after.